Dealing with unsupportive loved ones
How to Handle Judgment from Loved Ones About Your Health Choices During the Holidays
By
October 7, 2024
The holiday season is a time filled with joy, laughter, and of course, family gatherings.
But for many of us who are on a health and fitness journey, these get-togethers can also bring about feelings of anxiety and discomfort. Not because of the food, but because of the comments we often hear about our choices.
Phrases like, "You can have a donut—it's the holidays!" or "Oh, watch out, Theresa is eating healthy, even on a holiday!" are meant to be lighthearted, but they can feel like judgment, making you second-guess your decisions.
It's easy to feel singled out or pressured when people comment on your habits.
So, how do you stay true to your health goals without feeling awkward or guilty around family and friends?
When family members make remarks about your health choices, it’s often not about you—it’s about them. People tend to project their own insecurities or beliefs when they see someone else making changes they feel they should be making, too. In many cases, they don’t mean to offend or criticize, but rather, they’re grappling with their own relationship with food and health.
How to Handle It: Instead of taking their comments personally, remind yourself that their reactions are a reflection of their own struggles, not a judgment of your choices. Keeping this in mind can help take the sting out of their words.
When you're confident in your decisions, it becomes easier to deflect or laugh off comments without feeling the need to explain yourself. A simple "I'm feeling really great eating this way" or "I’m enjoying how I feel right now" can be a positive, assertive response.
How to Handle It: Practice a few responses that feel comfortable to you so that you're prepared when the comments come. You don’t have to justify your choices to anyone. Statements like:
These show that you’re content with your choices, without engaging in a lengthy discussion.
It’s okay to set boundaries. You don’t have to accept everything that’s offered, and it’s fine to say “no” to the extra slice of pie or second helping. Setting boundaries with loved ones can prevent feelings of resentment or frustration.
How to Handle It: Politely but firmly say something like, “No, thank you, I’m full,” or “I’ve already eaten enough.” The key is to be consistent with your boundaries without feeling guilty. After all, your health goals are important, and you’re allowed to prioritize them—even during the holidays.
Not everyone at your holiday gathering will question or challenge your healthy choices. Often, you’ll find that some family members or friends admire your discipline or may even be on a similar journey. Lean on those individuals for support if you feel uncomfortable.
How to Handle It: Seek out the people who understand what you’re doing. If you’re close with them, you can even confide in them about how certain comments make you feel. Surrounding yourself with supportive people can help you stay motivated and positive.
It’s easy to feel like everyone is watching your plate during holiday meals, but the truth is, most people aren’t paying as much attention as you think. The holidays are about spending time with loved ones, sharing memories, and being present—not just the food.
How to Handle It: When the anxiety about comments or judgment creeps in, remind yourself why you’re making these health-conscious choices. Focus on your long-term goals rather than the temporary discomfort of navigating holiday comments. Keeping your eyes on the bigger picture will help you stay grounded.
Lastly, remember that part of a healthy lifestyle is balance. It’s perfectly okay to enjoy a treat or indulge during the holidays if you want to. Don’t let the fear of judgment (either from others or yourself) steal the joy of the season. You’re allowed to savor the moment without guilt, even while staying on track with your overall goals.
How to Handle It: If you decide to indulge, do it mindfully and without regret. Remember, one meal or one dessert won’t derail your progress—it’s about consistency over time, not perfection.
Navigating the holidays when you’re committed to your health and fitness journey can be challenging, especially when it feels like everyone around you is questioning your choices.
But with a little preparation, confidence, and boundary-setting, you can stay true to your goals while still enjoying the season with your loved ones.
At the end of the day, your health journey is yours.
And while others might not always understand or agree with your choices, you’re the one in control—and you’re doing something that benefits your long-term well-being. So, hold your head high and enjoy the holiday season without compromising your goals.
